i feel numb

my test is coming, my departure is getting closer each day . if my test ends, it means i'm already off, too! i still can't imagine what will i be in the future, what will i look like..

there's just so much things i left behind. my families, my friends, my stuffs, my home, my bedroom, my blanket, my pillow, and my favorite dolly. i just wish times could either stop or reverse. i just wish that i didn't have to screw up our relationship. i wish to see your morning and night greetings to my cellphone everyday. i just want a day where miracles does happens. i wanna be the happiest girl in the world even for just 1 minute. a lot of things i can't said directly to you is because i don't have the guts to face that U ACTUALLY HATES ME. I always try hard to convince myself that u still love me and this is only a break. guess now, i'm left all by myself.

yesterday, when i walked home alone, i started to wonder. i pity those guys who was single and believe me, single is not happy. there is always a time where we need sum1 to rely on, to share with, etc. maybe ur appearance is just a few steps in my life's line but it hurts me to see u walk away. i keep regretting myself for ever being a jerk to you. when i looked back and saw all our wonderful memories, all i can do is cried because THOSE WERE THE BEST MEMORIES I'VE EVER HAD througout my entire life. :) I WISH SOMEDAY U'LL UNDERSTAND AND SEE.